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Notes:
When assessing a friend, relative, or pilot, one should be as private as possible to save face.
It's important for the 'helper' in this situation to realize that loss does not mean incompetence. This is even harder to detect, as it requires observing how a person does in the 'private' aspects of their life, especially managing their checkbook or investments, something that is sometimes privy not even to a spouse.
The best way to assess a pilot is to require, as part of a post-accident check ride, biennial flight review, etc. that a complex task be performed without assistance, such as planning a cross-country flight by pilotage, computing weight and balance, or calculating best glide for different combinations of wind and sink.
In doing this, it does not harm to supply forgotten or obscure facts, but if the prinicples of getting to the answer are not quickly recalled, we have a problem. The important thing isthat the pilot can be gently but firmly caused to discover that a task that was once easily done is not difficult or impossible.